After arriving home from a night of barhopping in the small town they had just moved to, Max and his roommate Johnny stumble into their respective bedrooms to pass out. However, Max isn’t quite ready to sleep. He is extremely drunk and incredibly horny, so he pulls out his box of toys and fetches his dildo.
The next thing Max remembers is waking up the next morning. He sees the box of toys beside his bed and it triggers a faint memory the prior night. He begins to clean up when he notices that the dildo isn’t on the bed or under it. He checks the box but can’t find it. He checks the floors and in his on-suite bathroom, but no dildo. He glances at himself in the mirror and it is in that moment he realizes there is only one other place it could be; the dildo was inside of him.
He rushes to his roommate’s room and wakes him up.
“I think you’re going to have to take me to the emergency room,” he says and explains the situation.
Johnny is in shock and although he’s concerned, he’s also trying his best not to laugh. He keeps a level head and says, “You just got a job at that hospital, do you really want to have this as your firstimpression!”
“Well, what should I do? It’s the only ER within miles.”
They take some time to think about it and after a while Max calms down.
Johnny suggests that they go to breakfast, “It’ll get your bowels moving and maybe the dildo will naturally come out.”
They walk to a local diner and order food and, of course, coffee, orange juice and water.
Halfway through their meal Max is talking to Johnny when, mid-sentence, he stops and charges for the washroom. When he comes back to the table he starts eating again as if nothing happened.
“Umm, hello? What happened? Did it come out? Johnny asks.
“Yeah,” Max replies.
“Did it hurt?”
“No, it kinda just slipped out.”
“I hope that teaches you not to use toys when you’re plastered.”
“Oh I’ve definitely learned my dil-dos and dil-don’ts,” Max says and they both laugh.
Johnny notices water flooding from under the washroom door.
“Wait a minute,” Johnny says, “where did you put the dildo?”
“I flushed it,” Max responds.
“Are you nuts!”
“What?” Max says, “It was a skinny one.”
Johnny points over to the water slowly pooling into the diner.
“Oh shit!” Max says and they quickly drop some cash to cover the bill, and swiftly exit.