Friends vs Boyfriends

If you’ve been trying to get rid of an annoying friend that you no longer want hanging out with your clique, the answer is simple: get him a boyfriend.
There is an unspoken between singles and couples. This became clear to me one day while I was out and about and I ran into my friend Andy, and his boyfriend, both of whom I hadn’t seen in eight months. I was surprised to see how genuinely overjoyed Andy was to see me as I had assumed he disappeared because he didn’t like me anymore. We greeted and briefly caught up. We said our goodbyes and made plans that both of us knew would never happen.
This is not an isolated incident.
Thinking back to all the friends I’ve lost contact with I now realize that our friendships dissipated as soon as they’re relationships got serious. This doesn’t happen overnight but after a while you can see your coupled friends straining to assemble plans involving both their boyfriend and you like it’s a chore.
At first couples stop coming out to the bars and clubs, which is understandable but soon they begin to miss get-togethers, holidays, and even birthdays. Phone calls become few-and-far between and eventually stop all together. My cell’s phone book is a graveyard of people’s numbers I never use anymore.
Let’s face it the two lifestyles are very different but why does it escalate into no contact at all? My guess is that single friends become as useless and excessive as someone buying a home with his partner but still keeping his bachelor apartment.
I grab my cell and decide to do a little test. It’s midday on Thursday, which ensured I'd get all answering machines. I leave messages for six people, three single friends and three coupled ones. By Friday night all three of my single friends returned my call but a week later still no response from any of my coupled friends.
The phrase “men come and go but friends last forever” needs to be amended with the suffix “or until they get a man” to be truly valid.
Friends are together through the best of times and more importantly they stick around during the worst. We spend time with each other to keep from being alone. We share the pain of having no one yet fall apart so easily in the wake of having someone.
A few weeks pass and I get no phone call from Andy nor do I call him. Whether I like it or not the reality is he’s moved on to another stage in his life and I should be happy for him but I can’t help but hold a grudge.
So, to all you coupled guys out there, pick up your phones and call that single friend you’ve been neglecting. We don’t hate you, we hate not having you in our lives.
Sure I’m pissed off now but if Andy ever has to move back into his bachelor apartment after a break-up, I’ll be the first one to help him move back in. That’s what friends are for.
Ain’t no boyfriend can offer that.